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Post by Forever Changing Lives.

2-13-15

I just found out that my mom... back up.

I just found out that the man who molested me from ages 6-16 is in prison for 25yrs. In Ohio. Soon to be in the same prison that my biological father (clicking the links below will show you what a grade a citizen he isn't...) is in right now. 

This man (stepfather, not bio dad) is in prison for 25 years for child molestation.

my little brother filed a case against him, just like I did 13+years ago..

but this time, my mom didn't try talking anyone out of it. didn't stand up for him...

13 years ago when I was trying to put him away, my mom covered for him, lied for him, abandoned me in NC with a cousin I had just met HOURS ago, and left to life with the bastard for 5 more years before leaving him. and she didn't leave him, she told my dad he was a bad guy and my dad threatened to kill him, so stepfather left.

13yrs ago, when I needed my mommy, when I needed anyone, when I lost a great friend and more to a fucking drunk asshole in Toledo because he was coming to get me... My mother, chose him..

But when it comes down to my little brothers saying the same things I said, saying how he did things to them... She stands up for them, and acts as a witness on the agreement that she can't be charged for aiding and abedding..

I wasn't good enough to save..

but they were.

and she even lied for them...

the dates in the paper say from April 26, 1989 (she didn't gt together with him until like 1992-93ish)

my little brother was BORN on Apr 26, 1989

Click here for how I found out about it all...

I burst into tears last night. Bryan heard me and came up to me nearly in tears... he thought he did something wrong

He was charged. That's a good thing. It should make me feel at least a little better right??

It doesn't... it doesn't hurt less though

the fact that my mom.... my own mother, didn't care enough about me to do it for me, but ben and kenny matter enough

I've tried talking to her like my therapist says in the past, but it gets mo nowhere...

She's told people that she thinks I was just having flashbacks from the first guy that did it to me..

the one she is currently friends with on Facebook

Philip Meek

When i asked her how she could be friends with him, her response was "You can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with."

I was like O_o really???

two weeks (approximately) after my 16th birthday... back up.... December 10, 2001, I told David what was going on with my step dad, he called the cops, I ended up being put in custody of my mos friend by police until they could investigate. Nobody believed me. the cops sent me back home a couple weeks later or something, right after my bday. Dec 20. RIGHT after Christmas, we came home from dinner at a restaurant to see a notice on the front door. It was from CPS, saying they were there and would be back, there was a court order to remove custody and me from my mother's care.

She freaked.
Drove me to NC, introduced me to my cousin I'd never met, and told me I'd be living there... taking me away from my brothers and sister. No explanation, no nothing. Backdated POA papers to be a couple days before the CPS people came by, and left me with complete strangers. I came to love them, don't get me wrong.. Patty, Kristine, and Stacie were helpful in ways they'll never understand...

but it doesn't change the fact that she chose him over me.. multiple times.

when we had to go to court, my mom stuck up for him.

got everything dismissed telling them that I wasn't mentally competent to take a lie detector test

this is the same woman who has taken away Dylan(almost 10 now) and Elizabeth(barely 9)

she has Dylan, I worry every day that she will let it happen to him... that he might have it happen to him one day... I would die inside if it did...

Elizabeth lives with her father and brothers... She has a better life with them than I could ever provide her.. I do miss her and Anthony(nearly 7) and Dylan, and Asa(barely 3) so sooo much.

2-12-15_2

I need sleep. He needs sleep. But if he's hurting so bad he can't sleep, I feel bad if I do sleep. Plus, the nightmares are back... So sleep isn't really my friend right now. 

2-12-15

Why wasn't I good enough to save? 

Why didn't you stick up for me when i needed it? 

Why did you let it happen for over a decade without helping me? 

Why couldn't you do that for me? 

Why are they better than me? 

All these questions circle my mind daily... 

I want to hate you. I should hate you. 

But instead... I miss you. 

I miss talking to you. 

I wonder if I'd be different, had you been there for me when I needed it. The way I needed you. 

Would I be better? Would I be worse? 

Would the nightmares still come? 

Would I still be...me? 

Do you think it made me stronger when you didn't help me? 

Do you think it helped me grow? 

Did you know I still remember every detail? Every smell, every touch, every demand he made of me? 

Did you know that I was scared while it was happening? 

What about my sister? Did he do that to her? Did he hurt her like he hurt me? 

Did she tell you like I told you? 

Did you ignore her cries for help? 

Why did you choose him over me? Why would you abandon me when I needed you most? 

 And the memories never faded..... Not even after decades passed.. It's still right up front. It still haunts me. But you won't ever care about me like I needed you to. I'm faulty. Broken. And for whatever reason... You weren't there when I needed you the most. 

2-11-15_2

Observational Drawing

Week 4: Assignment 1 Practice Exam

Assignment 1: Exam

Grading Summary

These are the automatically computed results of your exam. Grades for essay questions, and comments from your instructor, are in the "Details" section below. Date and Time Started: 2/11/2015 1:54:38 AM Time Spent: 02 min , 28 secs Points Received: 30 / 30  (100%) Question Type: # Of Questions: # Correct: True/False     3         3     Multiple Choice     7         7

Grade Details - All Questions

Question 1. Question : Actual textures are real. Student Answer:  True  (Actual textures are real. Actual textures refer to the texture of the medium used to create art. For example, a relief painting or sculpture, a textile wall hanging, or mixed-media collage.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 2. Question : Textural contrast can be created by: Student Answer:  Including similar texture  Including different textures (Textural contrast can be created by including different textures. Incorporating texture in a composition can add to the sense of realism and visual interest, but it also provides an opportunity to imply textural contrast. For example, placing a smooth high-gloss piece of pottery in front of a stone wall can create contrast between these two textures.)  Neither a or b  Both a & b Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 3. Question : Translucent surfaces allow diffused light to pass through. Student Answer:  True  (Translucent surfaces allow diffused light to pass through. Shadows and shapes can be seen through translucent objects.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 4. Question : Texture, by definition means: Student Answer:  The tactile appearance of the surface of an object  The visual appearance of the surface of the object  Neither a or b  Both a & b (Texture by definition is both the tactile and visual appearance of the surface of the object.) Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 5. Question : Transparent objects allow light and images to pass through unobstructed. Student Answer:  True  (Transparent objects allow light and images to pass through unobstructed.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 6. Question : Which tool is better for lifting off areas of charcoal to render details: Student Answer:  Kneaded eraser  color shapers (The tool which is best for lifting of areas of charcoal to render details is (b) color shapers. Color shapers are effective for lifting off charcoal to gain the detail you need.)  Neither a & or b  Both a & b Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 7. Question : Cast shadows have: Student Answer:  Solid even black values  Tonal variation (Cast shadows have tonal variation. One of our key considerations when approaching cast shadows is their inherent translucent quality. This means that the cast shadow contains overflow or traces of the light source that through it, which results in the tonal variation that we see in cast shadows. This can be a result of bounced or reflected light off an adjacent surface, also referred to as a fill light, or a result of reflected light off the object itself. If we look at the example of the cast shadow in the forsythia image, we see reflected light off the image in the center of the shadow, and then it gets gradually darker as it moves out.)  Neither a or b  Both a & b Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 8. Question : Adding opposite or different textures will: Student Answer:  Create a messy drawing  Add visual contrast (Incorporating texture in a composition can add to the sense of realism and visual interest, but it also provides an opportunity to imply textural contrast. For example, placing a smooth high-gloss piece of pottery in front of a stone wall can create contrast between these two textures.)  Neither a or b  Both a & b Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 9. Question : When adding textures to your drawings you should: Student Answer:  Add your textural elements and tonal values at the same time (When adding textures to your drawing you should build your textural elements and tonal values at the same time. A common struggle that students encounter with texture is that they wait to address it in the final stage of the drawing process and approach it as a detail that sits on top of the surface of the form. Oftentimes, this will result in the texture appearing separate from the form, and in the end, the texture will fail to be convincing, and the composition will lack unity. In order for a texture to conform consistently to a form, it must be depicted using the same light source that has already been established in the scene.)  Add your textures at the final stage of your drawing  Neither a or b  Both a & b Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 10. Question : Reflections are: Student Answer:  light or images bouncing off a mirrored surface (Reflections are light or images bouncing off a mirrored surface. The surface itself is referred to as a reflective surface.)  Curved  Neither a or b  Both a & b Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments:

2-11-15

Observational Drawing

Week 3: Assignment 1 Practice Exam

Assignment 1: Exam

Grading Summary

These are the automatically computed results of your exam. Grades for essay questions, and comments from your instructor, are in the "Details" section below. Date and Time Started: 2/5/2015 8:38:38 PM Time Spent: 02 min , 02 secs Points Received: 30 / 30  (100%) Question Type: # Of Questions: # Correct: True/False     6         6     Multiple Choice     4         4

Grade Details - All Questions

Question 1. Question : Contrast between light and dark establishes edges or boundaries between forms, how dark or light an object is compared to the object or space next to it. Student Answer:  True  (Colors can be translated to dark or light value, absorbing and reflecting different amounts of light. Dark colors will absorb more light so value changes won’t be as apparent as on light or white objects, which will reflect more light.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 2. Question : Which of these is the softest grade of graphite pencil? Student Answer:  4B (Reflected light is the light bouncing off of another surface onto the shadowed side of an object. This usually appears as a thin line of faint or subtle light near the base of an object just above the cast shadow.)  2H  2B  B Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 3. Question : When a single light source is present, shadows will fall to the same sides of objects in a set-up. Student Answer:  True  (When there is one light source on a set-up, the cast shadows will be on the same sides of the objects opposite the light source and the highlights. This is important for consistency and realism in shading.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 4. Question : Compressed charcoal and vine charcoal will give the same types of dark values. Student Answer:  True  False  (Vine charcoal is the softest and most versatile form of charcoal. It is easy to apply, blend, and erase; however, it can be difficult to achieve dark, even, black tones and it does not adhere to the paper as well as compressed charcoal. Compressed charcoal is sold in sticks and blocks. It is very dark and does not erase easily.) Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 5. Question : To begin developing shading in a drawing once the basic shapes, composition, and proportions are established, block in the darkest values across the scene first. Student Answer:  True  (To begin developing a drawing, start with a gesture sketch, then block in your objects as geometric shapes using sighting, take a moment to step back and assess the perspective and proportions, and then systematically establish the darkest shadow areas first to describe a consistent light source. Everything opposite the light should be a darker value, everything closest to the light is a highlight, and everything in between these two extremes is a transitional tone.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 6. Question : Edges or boundaries of objects and spaces are defined by the contrast of values, light against dark, rather than outlines. Student Answer:  True  (Contrast between light and dark establishes edges or boundaries between forms, how dark or light an object is compared to the object or space next to it. Location in course lectures: Logical Flow of Light & Shadow, interactive tutorial with eggs.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 7. Question : What is reflected light? Student Answer:  The lightest part of an object  The effect of light on an object caused by light bouncing off a surface plane (Reflected light is the light bouncing off of another surface onto the shadowed side of an object. This usually appears as a thin line of faint or subtle light near the base of an object just above the cast shadow.)  Light values around an object  Light passing through a transparent surface Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 8. Question : Which condition is important to consider for realistic shading in a drawing? Student Answer:  Light direction  Surface texture and color  The directions, proportions and relative values of shadows  All of the above (Study the direction of the light source on the scene, and how this determines the directions, sizes and relative values of shadows and cast shadows. The surface texture and color of an object will also affect the amount of contrast. Colors will absorb light while light or white surfaces will have more intense highlights.) Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 9. Question : The values between the lightest and darkest values in a scene are called what? Student Answer:  Middle values  Highlights  Shadows  Transitional tones (Transitional tones refer to the way a value becomes darker or lighter across a form or space. These are most apparent on rounded forms, where the change from dark to light is often smooth and more gradual than on angular geometric forms, where the change can be more distinct between surface planes.) Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: Question 10. Question : An effective way to see values and value relationships in a scene is to squint at the subject. Student Answer:  True  (Squinting helps to see the essential shapes and positions of the main areas of light and dark in a set-up or scene.)  False Points Received: 3 of 3 Comments: