Friday, August 3, 2018

8-3-18

10 Common MYTHS About Bipolar Disorder


1.) It’s all in my head.

   --I’m not looking for an excuse to explain my erratic behavior and racing thoughts on. This isn’t even something I wanted. I was told I have it and tried to deny it and prove them wrong only to be proven wrong myself and proving them right anyways...
2.) Bipolar disorder is another name for people with “mood swings”  --I wish it was that easy... but no, it’s not even close. The mood swings are more severe, longer lasting, and they impact my ability to continually care for basic needs such as holding a job or showering daily.

3.) People with BiPolar disorder are all creative geniuses.  --Not..true.. some of us are. some of us aren’t. My manic episodes start off as me thinking I’m going to do this big amazing thing and then starting it only to get about halfway through it and lose focus or drive and then I’m so tired I can’t even think of anything but that I want to finish what I started but I’m so tired that I can’t and so I don’t... I don’t NOT do it because I won’t want to.. I don’t because I physically can’t talk my arms into moving, or I can’t get my legs to go to the spot or get in the shower and then I have to tell myself how horrible I am because I can’t even do this simple basic necessity...
4.) People with BiPolar switch back and forth from mania to depression all the time, or are ill all of the time.   --Nope. In fact, my manic episodes can last for up to a week and go away with no warning... or I can go weeks or even months appearing and BEING fully functioning without a symptom and then all of a sudden.... bam... I’m so down that I can’t figure out what day of the week it is. 
5.) People with BiPolar feel great and happy when they’re manic.  --For some people, the mania is a feel good thing. It can FEEL like a happy UP time.. because you’re manic. But this is not a one size fits all diagnosis for a one size fits all disease. This is something that is different for each person. It’s easy to feel euphoric during a manic cycle for some, but for others it can be chaotic and mixed. I have been manic AND depressed at the same time. I have to get up and do something but I’m so depressed that I don’t see why I’m alive so I have to find things to fill the void. So I become hyper sexual or take unnecessary risks and purchase things I can’t and shouldn’t buy or afford because all I can see is the right now and the here and now are all I can focus on. But then when I come down, it’s like the depression or mood stayed the same, but the energy and drive went away so I’m down down down all over again but worse than a normal day. Some peoples’ mania can be explosive anger or abusive outbursts. Others can be one panic attack into another and another into another and you become so paranoid that the people across the street walking their dog must be watching you because they stopped for more than a second and what kind of person does that(going a million miles a second through your head) or insomnia for days on end... it’s not pretty or fun.
6.) Recovery isn’t possible.   --This is not true.. With the correct treatment plan and help and sometimes, yes,.. even medication regimen.. BiPolar is manageable and can be lived with in a healthy way. You can have months and months where you’re symptom free not because you aren’t BiPolar... but because your treatment and mind over matter are stronger than your diagnosis and you are handling it in a healthy way. Comprehensive care is key. This means counseling, therapy, medication, diet and lifestyle changes and even sometimes, a change in who you hang out with. Some people aren’t good for your mental health and need to be cut free. If they aren’y helping your healthy changes, then they need to be let go. Getting enough sunlight, getting regular exercise, eating better, taking our meds daily and even though this may seem easy for those without BiPolar, it’s hard for us who have it. Some days I’m great. diet...check, take my meds...check, went for my walk...check, made sure I got sleep...check, kept record of my foods and didn’t skip breakfast...check. But others, this is impossible to where I’ll get 4 days in and realize I haven’t slept and don’t remember the last time I ate was and if I took my meds last night. Recovery is possible, but it is an every..single..day..hard..mindful..lifetime exercise. 
7.) Manic Depression is different from BiPolar Disorder  --Wrong.. It’s the exact same thing but with a new name because they learned more things about BiPolar and decided that simply calling it Manic Depression wasn’t enough. There are many types of BiPolar disorder and Manic Depression is just a blanket term used before the psychologists truly understood BiPolar or knew there were different types... 
8.) Once BiPolar is under control, we don’t need to take medications anymore.  --This, as outlined in number 6 above, is wrong as well.. BiPolar episodes can last for days, weeks, months, or even years in some. So to say that we are better now and don’t need meds is wrong. The reason we are better is because of our meds and if we stop taking them, the bad stuff comes rushing back and most times at a lightning speed never before witnessed and we become worse and worse each time. Many people believe they only need to take their meds on bad days and this is not true. In order to have continuous good days we need to continually take our meds to balance out our brain’s neurons and keep everything level. It would be amazing if we never had to take our meds again once we were better.. but the truth is, it’ll never be better.. it’s just how managed your BiPolar is with medication(s). Rising cost of meds, the medication roulette our doctors put us through trying to find the right medication or mixture of medications it’s going to take to regulate our moods and the chemicals in our brains. The constantly changing side effects and regulating to new meds if your body adapts to the medication.. it’s tiring,. it really is... but if we were to stop taking the meds once we thought we were better... we would relapse and like any other disease, would have to reap some pretty horrible consequences. 
9.) Children can’t have BiPolar OR You can’t be diagnosed until you’re 18 years old.  --While it’s hard to tell the difference between BiPolar symptoms and age appropriate mood swings as well as hard to diagnose, but children as young as 6 yrs old have been diagnosed. You just have to look harder and examine a lot more in depth because an improper diagnosis can cause harm if you improperly medicate an adolescent for BiPolar, but it IS possible and is DOES happen. 
and finally... 
10.) There’s a test for BiPolar.  --No, there’s not... there are symptoms displayed and when a professional is vigilant in seeing the symptoms for what they are, they can all be put together to show BiPolar and it MUST be diagnosed by a professional.

Being BiPolar is not a fun thing to walk around telling people that you are or laughing off and joking around about.... It is a real, sometimes painful thing that a lot of people suffer from daily. 

Thursday, August 2, 2018

8-2-18



Someone asked me something today that got me thinking... She asked "How are you so fat if you're eating healthy and exercising?"I answered back with a simple thing about how I wasn't always eating healthy and I wasn't taught portion sizes properly and that I'm just now getting into it and I have a long road ahead of me.
She accepted this answer and walked away. but then I got to thinking...
I can and should be doing more for myself. Sure I'm changing my foods and exercising more, but I'm not doing as much as I could be doing for myself or my kids.
I could go out running in the mornings. I could be doing jumping jacks in the living room or using my PiYo discs I OWN or my TaeBo disc I own! but no, I do the bare minimum and then complain when I yoyo my weight around.
Well, I've decided that the only way to become a runner,, is to RUN! and the only way to lose weight is to move faster so it can't catch up with me.
So I'm going to be making a lot of life changes here soon and if you don't like them, fuck you. Some of these changes are for me, some are for my kids, some are just because I fucking feel like it. But all of them will make me a better person in one way or another.xx