4-21-12

HE SAID HE LOVES ME! 

I might not have lost my family after all! 

I was talking to Candi and I realized Rob was crying... 

I hung up on my sister and rushed over to him.. 

He told me the truth, that he doesn't really love Tracy, and that he still loves me.  I let him know that I want HIM to be happy. I made him give me his word that whichever path he chooses, that it'll be for HIM not me... not the kids... not Tracy... HIM ... his happiness alone.... He says that he wants me back... I am excited , nervous, scared.... I really miss him... and I don't want to mess up my being able to see my kids.. I really miss my kids. I don't want to ruin the chance to be in their lives. But also... I want my family that we... Rob and I planned.... I guess only time will tell. 

I am still planning on going to Family Promise (shelter)... getting a job... and a place to live.
But I will not give up on my family. My entire existence now is based on me following this plan... 

1. my kids
2. my love(Robert)
3. myself

I will do everything I can to make them happy and proud of me. Time for bed.. 

Love
Always
Birdie Lou'

P.S. I'm thinking about going back to church!