I honestly hate myself at times. Today is one of those days and nothing I do is making it better and if I try to tell someone, I'll either get toxic positivity "You have to look on the bright side" type bullshit, or I'll get made to feel like I'm the bad guy. So again here I go, just smiling and pretending I'm alright when I'm honestly not good, and I'm broken inside and everything's making it worse and I've tried reaching out to people and nothing I say seems to help really. I'm irritable and my house is never going to be clean unless i do it all and I have to work and bring in all the money to support everyone and I have to drive everyone to all the appointments and I have to literally do everything and then I'm unreasonable to expect that someone else is going to sift the cat litter, feed animals, wash dishes and keep them clean throughout the day, wash laundry and not let it get behind.... Things like that, I don't feel like it's an unreasonable thing to expect, but apparently I'm not doing enough for everyone, so I suppose I'll endeavor to do more. Right now I have a migraine that's making me want to puke and it's not dehydration or food because I've had water and food and it's not getting any better, so I might go lay down and pretend the world doesn't exist anymore for a bit.
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