Saturday, August 29, 2015

8-29-15


I'm so glad that you can't pay your rent and need utility help, and complain that your food stamps went down again, and your car is broken and you can't afford a new one or to repair the one you have, but you can afford to go all over hell's creation. Can't be bothered to save up to come to my wedding, but you have the money to go on a road trip. 

Am I not important?
I live all the way across the country. 
Someone I've never met, ever in my life, is excited and has said more about my wedding and seeing me and visiting than you have. 😢 I just got caught up on my rent and it's due again with this next check, so my daughter will be starting kindergarten without a few things on her list. Do you know how bad that feels? No, because someone's always been there to bail you out one way or another. But I haven't complained to you about it. Because if you're not bitching about something, you're not happy. 
If you don't care about him, stop checking up on him. 
If you can't afford your rent, don't go on road trips. 
"I can't pay all my bills but I am buying wine."

 I receive food stamps. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I haven't really gotten anything out of my pocket for myself in MONTHS. Because we can't afford it. Simple as that. 
But see, I can't talk to you about these things, because you'll defend your actions, call me irrational or jealous or whatever, and stop talking to me. And then I'll fall into my emotional pit again. And I'm tired of losing people. So I'll just keep it here and to myself. Eventually it'll go away. It always does. 

No comments:

Post a Comment