9-17-14

Does it hurt that she never let's me get a word in edgewise? That no matter what I do I feel like I'm wrong? I've been on the couch for a week now and I'm lonely. I miss cuddling. I crave affection. I wish that she looked at me the same. She looks at me with disappointment in her eyes. She doesn't even say goodnight anymore. I miss the feelings. The connection we had. It hasn't even been that long and I already feel like she doesn't love me anymore. Maybe I'm unloveable. Maybe I just suck at life. I wish that I had someone to hold me at night. It's so lonely crying myself to sleep on the couch. I love them both. But she doesn't... It's like.... I feel like I was brought here to do all the stuff she doesn't want to do. And it's painful. I want to do things WITH her. :( I just.... I miss feeling like I was needed. I hate the feeling that I'm being pushed away. I have a counseling appt tomorrow... Well... Today... And maybe I'll be able to talk there. But probably not.... 

I want to be held. I want to feel warm. I... I miss feeling like I'm owned. :'( 

I want.....this. :'( 

Goodnight... 

Until next time. :( 

Birdie Lou'