9-18-14

·        Thursday

9/18, 8:21am CuAnam Policar

I love you two too .. BOTH of you walked out with saying even bye -.-

9/18, 8:22am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You hurt my feelings.

I'm in pain too. I'm tired too

I realize yours is bad. I'm not upset about that.

But snapping at us wasn't necessary.

I tried keeping her out

9/18, 8:23am CuAnam Policar

you hurt mine with that "what do you want me to do" shit when 1) I wasn't talking to you I was answering Bry's question and 2) I never said "Bridgette you need to do something about this"

9/18, 8:23am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I do love you. But this snapping daily things has to stop. It hurts.

9/18, 8:23am CuAnam Policar

so does you and him ignoring me when you're here.. you snapped at me day before yesterday too walked out the house slamming doors and everything but it's okay for YOU and HIM to snap?

but I do it and I'm the bad one?

fine.. I just won't talk anymore

9/18, 8:24am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I never said you did. But a persons normal reaction when being screamed at for something... Like you were.... Is to assume you're upset that it happened and I need to stop that from happening.

But I've tried.

9/18, 8:24am CuAnam Policar

then neither of you wil have to worry about me snapping when I wasn't this morning to begin with until HE snapped at me ACCUSING me of snapping when I hadn't even SPOKEN YET

he said "Why are you up? there was no yelling or anything" So I did what I do EVERY TIME I get woken up you know the shit that usually makes you BOTH laugh.. and he fucking YELLED at me and asked me why I had an atittude when I hadn't even said 2 fucking words yet

so he got the attitude he accused me of

9/18, 8:28am Bridgette Ann Bandell

The other day. I didn't snap. I got aggravated.. Interrupted... And then you rolled your eyes at me after blowing off everything I said and then instead of repeating myself I just decided to drop it and go to walmart. Because it doesn't feel like you listen when I talk about things because you're always interrupting me.

9/18, 8:29am CuAnam Policar

but like I said it's good for YOU TWO to snap at me I don't even HAVE to do aNYTHING and get fucking accused of of having attitude.. YOU interupt me too.. so does he.. but it's okay for you two to do the shit I don't anything you two don't do yet I'm the ONLY one ever fucking ostrocized for it

9/18, 8:30am CuAnam Policar

HE snapped at me first NO fucknig reason I hadn't even SAID anything yet

but you didn't say "Bry why are snapping at her?"

Nope you didn't say a fucking word until I gave him the attitude he snapped at me accusing me of having then it was to snap at me for giving his attitude back to him

9/18, 8:31am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I don't ignore you when I'm there by the way. The past couple days I've been busting my ass to do homework. I got two hours of sleep night before last. Then that impromptu nap. And last night I may have gotten three hours of sleep. But I'm not snapping at anyone. Not talking in tones that come across angry and loud. . All I heard was "why are you awake" calmly asked you. And then you started talking loudly and "screaming" about eryn.

9/18, 8:33am CuAnam Policar

that's YOUR fault you're behind on homework because you weren't doing it when you were supposed to that's not anyone else's fault all them fucking nights we were up watching 4-5 episodes of Shameless you could have been your homework.. YOU don't see it I DO my attitude reflects what's tossed at me.. you don't like how I'm talking listen to how YOU are

9/18, 8:33am Bridgette Ann Bandell

And I've told everyone in that house that interrupting me is one of my biggest pet peeves. When I tried talking to you that one night.... You wouldn't let me finish a thought to save my life.

But... If I get interrupted I say something and ask it stopped.

And I expect the same when I interrupt someone.

9/18, 8:33am CuAnam Policar

I didn't talk at all when he asked me why I was awake I put my face an inch from his and stared at him like I always do when you two ask me why I'm up

then he said "why do you have an attitude" I hadn't even fucking spoken but I had an attitude

9/18, 8:34am Bridgette Ann Bandell

And I never.... Ever blamed anyone else but me on my homework...

9/18, 8:34am CuAnam Policar

so I gave him the atttitude he already accused me of having

nice to know I don't even have to talk to have an attitude

9/18, 8:34am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Putting your face inches away from I someone is rude. And comes across as attitudinal.

9/18, 8:35am CuAnam Policar

yeah it is when Eryn does it too

9/18, 8:35am Bridgette Ann Bandell

When you could have calmly said "eryn staring at me again."

9/18, 8:35am CuAnam Policar

yet AGAIN no one said shit to her for doing it

9/18, 8:35am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Bullshit

I've had talks with her.

You've yelled at her.

Bry has asked her not to

9/18, 8:35am CuAnam Policar

I was standing there and not one of you said "Eryn why were staring at sheryl when she was asleep?"

you both focused on this attitude that HE created.. and ignored the fact that that girl wouldn't know a fucking boundary if it slapped her in the fucking face

9/18, 8:39am CuAnam Policar

you've NEVER spoken to Eryn about her doing this shit but you KNOW it irks the fucks out of me.. but not once when I've TOLD you she does the shit have you spoken to her when she's done it.. so don't tell me "I've talked to her" when? HOURS after the fact when she doesn't remember doing it? but like I said.. whatever my attitude today is your guys' fault.. you created it since I snapped and an attitude before I even spoke

9/18, 8:39am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Neither does Taea or Micah.

But

9/18, 8:40am CuAnam Policar

Micah's two and I tell him not to the shit he does wrong when he does it.. Taea I yell at EVERYTIME she fucks up

or ground her ass to her fucking room

I tried the discipline thing with Eryn she doesn't like me nor does she see me as anything but "Taea's mom" so I gave up.. you and Bry need to handle her discipline cause she just ignores me when I try

9/18, 8:43am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Eryn gets spanked. Damn near beaten by me at times I feel...

Grounded. Has things taken away. And it doesn't work... She's not normal.. I keep telling you this and you blow me off...

Your mental issues are real. Mine are real. Taea's are real. But eryns are pretend and I'm babying her.

9/18, 8:43am CuAnam Policar

I HAVE tried talking to her about the staring at me shit she doesn't care what the fuck I say... She'll just glare at me when I mention it.. I'm honestly starting to believe she does the shit on purpose cause she knows she won't get in trouble for it

9/18, 8:43am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Did you know that toe walking is a HUGE sign of autism??

9/18, 8:43am CuAnam Policar

do you know ALL kids toe-walk?

9/18, 8:45am CuAnam Policar

and even if Micah's autistic it's not a big deal.. according to you Eryn's been EXACTLY how is her ENTIRE life.. Micah's a fucking SAINT compared to how Taea was at his age.. sorta.. she didn't get bad bad until she turned 4 but by then the people we were with her beating her and blaming everything their kid on her so she stopped being good all together...

9/18, 8:47am CuAnam Policar

and he doesn't toe-walk all the time btw.. he does it a lot but not all the time.. I've talked to his dr about it since he started walking but just like his pooing issue she brushed it off

but like I said whatever.. I'm the bad guy I do ALL the wrong.. all attitudes I have are for absolutely no reason.. whatever. I'm done with this convo.. I have shit to do

9/18, 9:01am Bridgette Ann Bandell

And Micah does it. And apparently you say Taea did too.

All kids toe walk. Yes. But not after 2

Not at almost 3

Most... Not all... But most... Of the things eryn does.. Are compulsive.

9/18, 9:01am CuAnam Policar

Andrew did it till he was almost 4

Taea did it till around then too

I couldn't even walk properly till I was 5

and no adhd is NOT on the autism spectrum I asked the child psychologist where Annie is

9/18, 9:07am CuAnam Policar

you know two are fucking HILARIOUS.. whether or not you have or not.. you CAN do something about your sexual frustration.. I can't but you guys don't even take that into consideration.. not the fact that it's been four fucking months since I've had sex because of this bleeding shit.. not that this cyst which has never bothered me is now doing nothing but hurting me.. not that I have 2 surgeries within a 30 day period.. should I seriously be fucking sunshine and flowers? well sorry I can't be any more than you two can.. but it's okay.. to make sure I don't give you two attitudes I apparently can't control.. I'll just avoid you both.. you focus on your homework.. I'll handle WPP and what I need done.. and we'll revisit my atittude when I'm not bleeding to death anymore

9/18, 9:08am Bridgette Ann Bandell

See... There you go again.

9/18, 9:09am CuAnam Policar

look I don't know what the fuck else to do

no matter WHAT I do you and him claim I have an attitude when I don't

so I'm making it simple

I'm going to avoid you both until I'm not bleeding to death.. until this fucking cyst is gone and not feeling like a fucking ball in my hip joint.. and when I'm better

9/18, 9:11am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Am I sexually frustrated? The previously nearly clinically diagnosed nympho that used to have sex 9-10 times a day in between masturbating.. I've been trying everything I can to make your shit easier.. Everything. The reason Bryan and I haven't done anything is because we are being considerate of you..

9/18, 9:12am Bridgette Ann Bandell

He and I discussed it... And out of consideration of you... We haven't.

9/18, 9:12am CuAnam Policar

no you aren't because YOU have attitudes you two apparently don't fucking SEE

I'd rather you two fucking fuck like rabbits than keep blaming every god damn fucking attitude on ME like you two are fucking saints

neither of you see how you fucking talk to me

neither of you see how you've been treating me

and I haven't said SHIT because I'm not stupid and I understand.. so I let the shit go

but I don't even say a fucking WORD and get snapped at and accused of having an attitude and snapping

9/18, 9:14am Bridgette Ann Bandell

My attitude... Has nothing to do with sex... My attitude has everything to do with the fact that I don't feel like I'm contributing, like I'm using you guys, like eryn can't do anything right, and that I've been on a couch for a WEEK. you don't say goodnight anymore. You don't say I love you FIRST anymore. You sit in your bubble and ignore everything it feels like...

You were supposed to be off on Sundays... Two Sundays in a row and you decided that it wasn't important to spend family time.. That you just HAD to do computer from waking till sleeping.. And that hurts Sheryl.. A lot.

9/18, 9:15am CuAnam Policar

are YOU going to post the teasers?

hell you don't even fucking MAKE them on tiem

but I'm supposed to rely on you to post them?

9/18, 9:15am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You didn't have teasers this week because I was too sick to breathe!

You're sick.... I get it... But you can still smoke.

9/18, 9:16am CuAnam Policar

I'm sorry if I don't want to sit around watching fucking movies

I DON"T LIKE MOVIES

it's not like you two don't do this shit

9/18, 9:16am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Everytime I try it hurts. My lungs seize.

9/18, 9:16am CuAnam Policar

I don't like sitting around doing nothing

it's not YOU tell me you love me anymore either

but you tell HIM you do EVERY fucking chance you get

9/18, 9:17am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Then we could have gone out and gone hiking before we had the diagnosis.

Or played games maybe.. Or some crafts with the kids... Anything but blocking us all out for role playing... Which is what you do...

You have no problems flirting with Jenny  and shit... But you don't flirt with me anymore...

9/18, 9:17am CuAnam Policar

wWE HAVE NO GAMES LEFT

my asshole seven yr old lost half the pieces to every game we own

I flirt with everyone.. you don't even really talk to me on here and I'm not good flirting in person x.X

9/18, 9:18am Bridgette Ann Bandell

See what you don't realize is... Light flirting is okay with me... But I'm a VERY jealous person. And the flirting you do bothers me. It makes me jealous.

But do I bother telling you? No. Because you'll defend it and blow me off.

9/18, 9:19am CuAnam Policar

YOU flirt too

9/18, 9:19am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Whenever I try talking to you, I have to repeat myself because you weren't listening.

9/18, 9:19am CuAnam Policar

      you sat here for two fucking months telling Bill you love him on the phone and shit

9/18, 9:19am Bridgette Ann Bandell

No... I bat my eyelashes and make comments. And I was trying to get money to help out around the house… we needed things..

9/18, 9:19am CuAnam Policar

don't try to use MY flirting as a weapon when you're telling EXES you fucking love them Bridgette

9/18, 9:19am Bridgette Ann Bandell

And I was only doing that to try and get shit..

I'm not using it as a weapon.

I don't expect you to change. You don't see anything wrong with it.

9/18, 9:20am CuAnam Policar

that's the same excuse with the flirting you do with william too right?

9/18, 9:20am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You knew I was lying to bill.

With William I "blush"

That's about it.

9/18, 9:20am CuAnam Policar

damn right I don't you had no problem with me doing it when you met me you shouldn't have a problem with me doing it now

it's not like it means any fucking thing I flirt with EVERYONE on here I always have

9/18, 9:21am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I had no problem with you flirting with me.

Flirting has a fine line.

9/18, 9:21am CuAnam Policar

my flirting with Jenny never goes beyond the occasional nibble LOL

9/18, 9:22am Bridgette Ann Bandell

That’s not the only person you do it with… She's just the only one who's name I know.

9/18, 9:22am CuAnam Policar

it's never gone beyond that LOL with anyone really

cept Raven I'll occasionally -molest- him out of boredom or when he's upset and he needs to not be

9/18, 9:22am Bridgette Ann Bandell

The role playing hurts me too. Ya know.

9/18, 9:23am CuAnam Policar

well your SOL on that

I've been RP since I was 19

9/18, 9:23am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I can't get you to cuddle me. But you'll cyber fuck four people.

That hurts

9/18, 9:23am CuAnam Policar

I don't cuddle -.-

9/18, 9:23am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Bulls***

9/18, 9:23am CuAnam Policar

and I don't play girl characters

9/18, 9:23am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You have

So?

9/18, 9:23am CuAnam Policar

yeah when I wasn't bleeding to death

9/18, 9:23am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You've cuddled me.

9/18, 9:24am CuAnam Policar

it's kinda hard to do much of any fucking thing when all the fuck I do is bleed every god damn where -.-

9/18, 9:24am Bridgette Ann Bandell

And the fact that you're a male "character" makes no difference.

I'm not saying have sex. Because that's a chore. Even before the bleeding.. It was a chore. You acted like you didn't really wanna.

I'm saying sit next to me and hold my hand.

Give me a hug for no reason.

I stopped because I was sick and didn't want you sick.. So I tried keeping my distance.

But you're sick anyways and now you're always angry.

9/18, 9:25am CuAnam Policar

you're just as guilty of the lack of affection shit as I am

but AGAIN I'm the bad guy

everything my fucking fault

I get it

9/18, 9:26am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I stopped when it felt unwanted.

Then I got sick

9/18, 9:27am CuAnam Policar

bullshit cause the ONLY I had a problem with was you trying to molest me out where the kids can see

which no matter how many times I said anything you ignored that it made me uncomfortable

9/18, 9:28am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You didn't act any different while the kids were asleep then you didn't while they were up.

9/18, 9:29am CuAnam Policar

that isn't true.. but like I said fine EVERYTHING'S my fault

I told you I get it

9/18, 9:29am Bridgette Ann Bandell

No

See

9/18, 9:29am CuAnam Policar

no see scroll up and fucking read Bridgette

9/18, 9:29am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I've been trying to ignore a lot of this.

9/18, 9:29am CuAnam Policar

every fucking thing is my fault

I get it

I'm a horrible person.. I don't need to be in relationships fine whatever

9/18, 9:30am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I'm sorry I came here and made your life harder.

I love you

9/18, 9:30am CuAnam Policar

I love you too.. I'm just done being the root of all evil to you two

9/18, 9:32am Bridgette Ann Bandell

That's not how it is...

I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.

Didn't worry about it. I'll just file it

9/18, 9:34am CuAnam Policar

read what you've been saying you and him have done "no" wrong everything's my fault

9/18, 9:36am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I'm not trying to place blame on anything.

9/18, 9:38am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I'm trying my damnedest to tell you things that are hurting me. And getting ignored. It doesn't need to be a fight.

I just want someone to pay attention and listen and understand and just... Just... *shrugs* I don't know... Be willing to try... Willing to work together and try...

9/18, 9:40am Bridgette Ann Bandell

But it involves change.

Both... All three of us being willing to change some...

And it'll never happen. It'll just be a huge fight.

9/18, 9:42am CuAnam Policar

and I have been.. but placing everything on my shoulders is shitty.. yes I RP you knew this before you got with me.. Bry used to too until he started playing DAoC.. I'm not going to change that just because while you didn't have a problem with it before you got here you now you do

9/18, 9:42am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I did actually

It just didn't affect me like this much

When I wasn't here.

Plus

I didn't know you did it all day

I thought it was only at night

9/18, 9:44am CuAnam Policar

well you need to understand it's something I do to vent.. to think.. to be creative... and it IS only at night I don't RP till between 5-6 at night.. sometimes later it depends when people log on and it's not all sex LOL there's actual story line to it since it follows my books

9/18, 9:49am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You pay attention to them... You're always typing on AIM. Always talking to everyone else...

9/18, 9:50am Bridgette Ann Bandell

Before I and out here you used to message me randomly and say I love you.

I realize you're working... And that turning around to talk distracts you..

But simple things make my day... A message that says I love you.

A kiss on the head. Touching my shoulder. Running fingers in my hair... Tiny minuscule things.

9/18, 9:50am Bridgette Ann Bandell

You used to do them…

9/18, 9:51am CuAnam Policar

is it my fault you put headphones in? I DO talk to you ask Bry but I never realize you don't hear me cause you have headphones in

so I toss pennies to get your attention which you bitch about that too so I stopped doing it unless it was something important I needed to tell you

9/18, 9:53am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I put in headphones when it's schoolwork.

Because it's important

9/18, 9:53am CuAnam Policar

you do it for WPP work and everything else too

you've been doing it since before you went back to online school

9/18, 9:53am Bridgette Ann Bandell

And this speaker stuff drives me nuts cause I have to turn it way up cause I'm 3/4 deaf.

I do the headphones whenever I need to concentrate hard on something.

9/18, 9:54am CuAnam Policar

which is ALL the time Bridgette

99% of the time you're at your PC which is for just as long if not longer than I'm at mine you have headphones in

9/18, 9:55am Bridgette Ann Bandell

I've backed off a lot.

And I use headphones because whenever I don’t there’s too much distraction and I can’t concentrate…

I've stopped and set time limits.

I've tried. I'm trying.

Later that day……..

9/18, 3:28pm Bridgette Ann Bandell

I sayyyyed... I loves youuu

9/18, 3:30pm CuAnam Policar

I love you too I didn't hear you honest to god I didn't even know you left yet

9/18, 3:36pm Bridgette Ann Bandell

Lol you were looking right at me. Lol

9/18, 3:39pm CuAnam Policar

that doesn't mean I heard anything my ears are ringy and stuffed it's why I keep asking what when people speak I honestly can't hear shit

9/18, 8:13pm Bridgette Ann Bandell

Without having any information about my tubes. How do you feel about having another baby.

I worded it that way because we are all three in this together. So if I have a baby, it's yours, mine, and Bry's...

9/18, 8:26pm CuAnam Policar

I honestly don't want any kids the ones we have drive me fucking batty

but it's not my decision to make

9/18, 8:26pm Bridgette Ann Bandell

It's partly yours to make. Partly mine. And partly Bry's.

9/18, 8:26pm CuAnam Policar

and I don't want a vote or you and him not to do it because I don't want it my opinion really doesn't count we've been through this

9/18, 8:27pm Bridgette Ann Bandell

I feel it does…

Seen 8:28pm